2008 Woodie Awards
Yeas & Nays
The Daily Barometer
Issue date: 5/9/07 Section: Forum
Yea to the Oregon State baseball team for playing a game at Seattle's Safeco Field over the weekend. While OSU lost, head coach Pat Casey lured Ichiro onto the team bus and convinced him that he is, in fact, a junior in music and outfielder for the Beavers baseball team.
Nay to the family of spiders who made a home in the ear of a 9-year-old boy from Albany, Ore. The boy has not reported any Spider-Man-like powers, but he has reported going on the Internet and viewing an increased number of photos of Kirsten Dunst in a wet T-shirt.
Yea to the spider boy. Rather than freaking out and running around screaming like many of us would have done, he kept the spiders as pets and brought them to show and tell. Unfortunately, the spiders broke out of their jar and ate the math teacher.
Nay to an arctic seal found in Florida that will now be rehabilitated at Sea World. And by "rehabilitated," of course, we mean, "sent to the U.S. detention center at Guantanamo Bay."
Yea to the U.S. crackdown on arctic seal terrorism. And who cares about Habeas Corpus? These seals don't deserve any rights!
Nay to a team of scientists who have discovered that endangered turtles are drawn to light sticks. What are you people waiting for? Get out there and catch some turtles!
Yea to Queen Elizabeth II, who spent the last day of her U.S. tour at the Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland, where she tackled security officials to the ground, hijacked a Space Shuttle and flew home to England.
Nay to a Portland inventor, who, according to The Oregonian, sickened neighbors when an attempted alternative fuel mixture went up in flames. For his next project, the man plans to encourage the use of public transportation by setting a family of bears loose on I-5.
Yea to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has yet to respond to pleas to pardon Paris Hilton and keep her from serving a 45-day jail sentence. According to his spokesman, the governor will rule on the issue after reviewing some "important related Internet videos."
Nay to the middle of spring term, when the temperature goes up and productivity goes down, just in time for the second and third wave of midterms. Is the "I'm emotionally drained because Paris Hilton is going to jail" excuse valid?
Yea to creative excuses for skipping classes. Besides the Paris Hilton one, we recommend the classic "I think there may be spiders in my ear." Works every time.
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Editorial serve as a platform for Barometer editors to offer commentary on issues both global and local, grand in scale and diminutive. The views expressed here are a reflection of the editorial boards majority.
Nay to the family of spiders who made a home in the ear of a 9-year-old boy from Albany, Ore. The boy has not reported any Spider-Man-like powers, but he has reported going on the Internet and viewing an increased number of photos of Kirsten Dunst in a wet T-shirt.
Yea to the spider boy. Rather than freaking out and running around screaming like many of us would have done, he kept the spiders as pets and brought them to show and tell. Unfortunately, the spiders broke out of their jar and ate the math teacher.
Nay to an arctic seal found in Florida that will now be rehabilitated at Sea World. And by "rehabilitated," of course, we mean, "sent to the U.S. detention center at Guantanamo Bay."
Yea to the U.S. crackdown on arctic seal terrorism. And who cares about Habeas Corpus? These seals don't deserve any rights!
Nay to a team of scientists who have discovered that endangered turtles are drawn to light sticks. What are you people waiting for? Get out there and catch some turtles!
Yea to Queen Elizabeth II, who spent the last day of her U.S. tour at the Goddard Space Flight Center in Maryland, where she tackled security officials to the ground, hijacked a Space Shuttle and flew home to England.
Nay to a Portland inventor, who, according to The Oregonian, sickened neighbors when an attempted alternative fuel mixture went up in flames. For his next project, the man plans to encourage the use of public transportation by setting a family of bears loose on I-5.
Yea to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has yet to respond to pleas to pardon Paris Hilton and keep her from serving a 45-day jail sentence. According to his spokesman, the governor will rule on the issue after reviewing some "important related Internet videos."
Nay to the middle of spring term, when the temperature goes up and productivity goes down, just in time for the second and third wave of midterms. Is the "I'm emotionally drained because Paris Hilton is going to jail" excuse valid?
Yea to creative excuses for skipping classes. Besides the Paris Hilton one, we recommend the classic "I think there may be spiders in my ear." Works every time.
Editorial serve as a platform for Barometer editors to offer commentary on issues both global and local, grand in scale and diminutive. The views expressed here are a reflection of the editorial boards majority.
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