Ian Grogan does the 80s

By: Ian Grogan

Posted: 5/30/08

Now I have discussed many things here in my weekly rants, but there's one thing I haven't uncovered: the slang of the '80s.

We all use slang in our everyday talk, but I want to let you guys in on the slang of yesteryear. That way you can reinvent a masterpiece and instill some freshness within your posse.

The first category I'd like to touch upon is categorizations of people. In the '80s, people with their heads in the clouds - commonly hard-rocking stoners - were called Airheads. A Poofer was a Valley Girl with big hair and low intelligence. Then there were the Bohunks, jocks who were too good for themselves - think Fabio in a jock strap. These people would fall under the classification of "Mentals."

Then you had your average, everyday people. First there were the Dweebs, Dexters and Noids. These were the geeks, the kids you didn't want to associate with.

Then you had your Valley Girls and people referred to as Mall-Maggots, people who only hung out at malls because they didn't have anything better to do.

Now that you know how to classify someone, let's get into descriptive words. "Radical," "bodacious" and "boss" were all great ways to express that something was totally awesome. "That kid is radical." "Yeah, and his Firebird is pretty boss as well." Only when something was better than that would you use a term like "trippendicular."

If you wanted to agree with someone you could drop something like "word" or "solid" - that way people would know you meant business.

Then there were descriptive words like "stellar," "wail" and "bomb," as in, "Those kicks are bomb, but not as stellar as my shades!"

Finally I'd like to go into some bigger expressions, things you'd only pull out once in a while, because things rarely came to the point of these terms. "Bag your face" would be one such expression; it's like saying "shut up" to the max - you pull this out, and you'll get some respect.

"Bite me" was a phrase that really stuck it to your enemies, as in, "Bite me, burnout - my threads are ill!"

One of the ultimate burns to give someone was "ooglay," used to describe someone who was horrendous to look at, in an instance when "ugly" just wasn't enough.

Now that you know some expressions and descriptions, go out into the world and bring the '80s back! Don't be afraid to tell a Bohunk he's boss, or to drop the all-important "trippendicular" - I guarantee you'll get some respect. And don't be afraid to mix and match.

These are just a few terms - look up some more and make your day that much greater!

Ian Grogan

diversions@dailybarometer.com