Ian loves the 90's

By: Ian Grogan

Posted: 12/5/08

One thing I miss about the nineties is the slang. There's nothing better than walking up to someone and calling them a "home skillet" with "boss" sneakers. This week I will attempt to connect y'all with slang from the nineties, in hopes that I can bring it back.

When meeting someone, you have to say something along the lines of, "'sup," "what's the dillio?" or "what's doin'?" Say it any other way and you are just being a buzzkill. These statements are quick and straight to the point - the way conversations should be.

Now, say you're in a situation where someone is all up in your grill and you want to burn them. There are several possibilities you could lean toward.

First off, you have to let the person know they are angering you by saying, "Man, you are making me salty." That lets them know what's up. After a few f-bombs have been dropped and the fool won't step off, you have to pull out the best comeback in your arsenal, "yeah, well, your mom (insert insult here)." This is a sure-fire way to end an argument; your opponent just can't combat it.

"Yo mama" jokes emerged quite early in the nineties and even surfaced on MTV as a glorified put-down festival. Hosted by the only good part of "That '70s Show," Wilmer Valderama, the show expressed a great love for the extreme nature of such a cutting remark. Thanks Microsoft Word synonym generator! The nineties were riddled with these jokes, or "joshes" for those playing at home. It makes me very proud to still see them thriving today.

Another comeback commonly heard while strolling through the halls of your elementary (and in some cases middle) school during the nineties was the good ol' "well, it takes one to know one!" That told your adversary you weren't about to partake of the hurt their words were dishing out. Instead, you fought back with a spin they were never expecting. Who's the garbage man now, Rick?

So the night has passed by, and you've moved on to bigger and better things. Your "buddy" or "pal" just called you and said he wants to pick you up in his dope ride with dubs. You can't help but say "snap!" and wait for the ride to the premiere of the newest Tom Hanks or Sandra Bullock flick. Yeah, I said it: flick!

You've had a great night, but sadly it has been cashed. Now it's time to roll, so you hop in your buddy's ride and take a cruise down the street. You give "props" to your "holmes" as you get out.

Now it's time to say goodbye. "I'm gone," "peace" or the ever-popular "see ya" works as well. Again they are short, sweet and to the point.

Trust me: you keep to these words I've shown you, and you'll be the most fly kid around. Bring back the gnarly words of the nineties, yo!

Word.

Ian Grogan

diversions@dailybarometer.com