Orgasm debate and rising to the occasion

By: Kathy Greaves

Posted: 2/27/08

Dear Dr. Sex,

My girlfriend and I were discussing whether or not it is necessary for males to ejaculate in semi-regular intervals (either through sex, masturbation or wet dreams). I claim that about five days is as long as most men can go... she says that men can go longer if they really had/want to. Who's right?

Signed,

Need to Cum

Dear Need to Cum,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is no reason why a man has to ejaculate. There are many men (maybe not your age) who go weeks or months without ejaculating. Take those who choose to be celibate, for example. In its purest definition, celibacy is refraining from all sexual activities, including masturbation. Also keep in mind that just because someone isn't participating in partnered sexual activity or masturbating, they will not automatically have wet dreams. Wet dreams beyond puberty are typically caused by erotic dreams, so if an adult isn't having erotic dreams, then they won't be having wet dreams either.

What I can tell you is there appears to be health benefits related to reaching orgasm. Keep in mind that researchers don't know if the health benefits are actually caused by orgasm. Basically it is a questions of which comes first, the chicken or the egg. Here are some of those health benefits:

• Orgasms provide relief from menstrual cramps.

• 1-2 orgasms a week strengthens the immune system.

• Men who have 2 or more orgasms a week actually live longer.

• Men who have at least 3 orgasms a week are 50 percent less likely to die of heart disease.

• Men who have more than 5 ejaculations a week have lower rates of prostate cancer later in life.

• The release of estrogen and endorphins following orgasm are related to increased mood and reduced chance of depression in women.

• When a person reaches orgasm, oxytocin is released fivefold. Oxytocin is a hormone that increases feelings of love and intimacy which may help maintain long-term relationships.

• Dopamine is also released upon orgasm, causing a stress-reducing, sleep-inducing response that helps many people fall asleep at night. This would explain why so many people report masturbating for the express purpose of falling asleep.

• Those who frequently orgasm with a partner are judged more youthful.

So while it may not be necessary to ejaculate and orgasm, it certainly appears to be beneficial. So go forth and orgasm.

Dear Dr. Sex,

It seems recently that my erections haven't been as hard as usual, and in one case I couldn't get one at all... This is very strange because it only started happening where I could notice in the past month. I thought it wasn't anything bad until I took a girl home and got an erection when making out, but when I went to put a condom on it went almost completely limp. Is this usual? Should I see a doctor?

Signed,

Not Your Ordinary Limp Bizkit

Dear Not Your

Ordinary Limp Bizkit,

Because you indicate that this is a new experience for you, I am going to assume that prior to this past month, you were able to maintain an erection during intercourse and to the point of orgasm and ejaculation. Going on that assumption, there could be a couple of things going on here.

First, has anything changed in your life in the last month? Some extraordinarily stressful event maybe? Second, are you taking any new medications or did you change medications or previous dosages? Both of these things could possibly affect your ability to get and maintain an erection. If neither of those are the case and the situation continues, I'd go talk to a urologist, the type of doctor who typically deals with the male reproductive system and penile difficulties.

One last comment - it is very common for a man to lose his erection while putting on a condom, so I wouldn't necessarily worry about that.

Kathy Greaves Ph.D., is a senior instructor at OSU in the department of human development and family sciences. The opinions expressed in her columns, which appear every Wednesday, do not necessarily represent the views of the Daily Barometer staff. Greaves can be reached at kathy.greaves@oregonstate.edu or by placing questions in the box at the MU Information Desk. All questions submitted to Greaves are subject to being answered in her Dr. Sex column.