Trivial holiday songs and more

By: Scott Dennis

Posted: 11/14/08

Since the day after Halloween, a steady stream of Christmas music has been pouring from my speakers. When questioned about the appropriateness of the music given the current time of year, I tell people to blame the lack of good Thanksgiving songs.

Come to think of it, how many holidays really have songs associated with them? We play scary music for Halloween and patriotic music for Independence Day, but what about the other holidays - what of Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day? When was the last time you heard someone strolling through campus singing "Five Little Turkeys" or "Valentine Valentine?"

When most people think of "Holiday Music," they think of Christmas songs and the like, which is rather unfair to the other major holidays. Where are their classic ballads and Bing Crosby standards?

Since Thanksgiving is coming up soon, let's use it as an example. There must be plenty of song-worthy things about this classic November holiday. It brings people together, for one, so it's a lot like Christmas in that regard. But instead of bringing families together to exchange gifts and discuss the year in review, Thanksgiving lures them together with promises of overeating and watching football while the kids hop around and ask when it'll be Christmas.

This beloved holiday tradition should provide plenty of material for today's crooners. With any luck, soon a cavalcade of new Thanksgiving classics will resonate in dorm rooms all across the country. I'm sure it will be magical.

With the conclusion of the presidential election, we should prepare a new slate of traditional jingles for our next big holiday. It's only a couple months away, so we'll have to be quick about it - Inauguration Day doesn't come every year, you know.

Though it's only officially observed by government employees in and around Washington D.C., everyone should be able to celebrate this glorious day by tuning in to their favorite Inauguration Day ballads or folk songs - we just have to write them first.

Of course we could just play some patriotic tunes for this holiday, but that wouldn't be very clever now would it?

If you're thinking "Wait, what about April Fools' Day?" then have I got a solution for you: All "Weird" Al, all the day. Students could relax to the cool sounds of polka and parody as residents of Weatherford drop water balloons on those foolish enough to walk though the great arch.

Once we're done writing new classics for every major holiday, what's next? It wouldn't be fair to ignore the lesser-known-but-still-totally-a-holiday holidays like Absurdity Day and National Cashew Day. I hope you're all prepared to celebrate Button Day on the 16th. If you have trouble finding an appropriate song to warble throughout the dorm, try improvising your own - like so!

"Button Day, Button Day, Break out the cheese and mutton day, Made of glass, Made of bone, Don the traditional button cone."

And that's why I will continue to play Christmas music until Dec. 25. Because until yesteryear's song birds rise from their graves to bring us some new Thanksgiving classics, we're pretty much stuck with the same songs we've always heard.

Oh, and Happy Button day.

Scott Dennis is a junior in fine arts. The opinions expressed in his column do not necessarily represent those of the Daily Barometer staff. Dennis can be reached at forum@dailybarometer.com.