Yeas & Nays

By:

Posted: 8/13/08

Yea for the return of the Summer Olympics! Not only are we the spectators enjoying ourselves, the athletes are too. Beijing has announced that the games will provide 100,000 condoms to Olympic athletes in the hopes that they will not run out as in years past in Sydney and Athens. Do they give out gold medals for endurance?

Nay for the Olympics opening ceremony. China decided to have a pretty 9-year-old television actress lip-sync "Ode to the Motherland" because the 7-year-old who was actually singing it was chubby and had crooked teeth.

Yea to a handsome guardian of the Olympic torch becoming a Chinese sex symbol.

Nay to the fact that no one is actually paying attention to other sports being played in the U.S. Free condoms anyone?

Yea to a man who beat up and robbed two people for staring at his Winnie-the-Pooh costume. It may have been unfortunate, but just imagine seeing a life-sized Winnie-the-Pooh attacking someone. It sounds almost as good as when the Duck mascot did and got suspended...

Nay for Benny Beaver only having 907 friends on MySpace. How many students go to this school!? Shame on you. How many times do we see his face around campus in one day, but no one is curious enough to look him up on one of the largest social networking sites? To your computers - now!

Yea to USA's 4 x 100 men's freestyle relay silencing the smack talk of the French swimmers who apparently couldn't accomplish their goal of destruction. Perhaps the USA brought a man dressed as a duck to beat up whatever the French mascot is... maybe Zinedine Zidane?

Nay to weird names like Zinedine, and to Chinese families naming their children after the Olympic mascots: Beibei, Jingjing, Huanhuan, Yingying, and Nini.

Yea to Sweden allowing their citizens the right to name their children whatever they wish. Ponyboy and Soda-pop's father would proud.

Nay to the United Kingdom for prodding Coca-Cola about its secret ingredients. Some things are best left unmentioned. If we found out what its secret ingredient was, it just might become illegal like sex toys in Alabama. We love you, Coke. Oh, we mean Pepsi. Yes, this is a Pepsi campus.

Yea to Carly Simon for owning all of the songs she's written. That's dedication to a secret.

Nay to people who lie. Like the lip-syncing Chinese girl, Milli Vanilli, Ashley Simpson, Story of the Year and OJ Simpson. Sometimes, honesty is the best policy - except when it comes to Coca-Cola.

Yea to "The Dark Knight," which has held on to remain the number one film in America for four weeks in a row, now grossing $445.3 million.

Nay to inflation for making this number less about how many people actually saw the film and more about how much movie tickets cost these days. If only they gave us free condoms...